WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?
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The Water Cooler
WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?
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OH BOY DO I HAVE A PROBLEM. I WENT OUT TO LUNCH YESTERDAY LEAVING THE SCHOOL.DURING MY TIME PICKING UP MY LUNCH AND SEVERAL  TEACHERS LUNCHES I SAW SOMETHING. I WISH I DID NOT .I HAPPEN TO
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Forums » Baking Forums » The Water Cooler » WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

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Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 10/27/2010 11:31 AM EDT
Posts: 416
First: 8/7/2008
Last: 1/17/2012
I talked to my daughter about this and now believe nothing should be said. Best to leave things alone and let nature runs it's course. I am sure the other person may already know and you do not want to cause a wriff between you too.

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 10/27/2010 11:44 AM EDT
Posts: 1333
First: 8/8/2008
Last: 4/16/2014
to tell or not to tell i would have walked to the cheater and  say arent you so and sos husband he might think about what you are going to say to his wife

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 10/27/2010 1:43 PM EDT
Posts: 478
First: 8/20/2008
Last: 2/15/2011
In Response to Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?:
to tell or not to tell i would have walked to the cheater and  say arent you so and sos husband he might think about what you are going to say to his wife
Posted by Millie B


Wow! You'd get right to the point, wouldn't you?! I kind of like your approach, Millie! That actually might have been very effective.
And Sharon, read back a few posts....Preston and another co-worker, who also saw the cheater, went to their friend and told her the truth and she took it well. Actually, probably as well as could be expected under the circumstances and she wasn't angry at them. I honestly think they did the right thing in telling her, even though it was difficult for all three of them to handle.
Prayers remain with all concerned!

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 10/27/2010 2:12 PM EDT
Posts: 90
First: 5/3/2010
Last: 5/31/2011
i agree ,i'am glad it went as well as it could go..good job preston.i think i would have walked right over to him as well like millie pointed out.it is tough to know what is right. some people would not even bother.it's not my problem and walk away.

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 10/27/2010 2:21 PM EDT
Posts: 3543
First: 1/16/2009
Last: 4/18/2014
Go with your gut.  Say a prayer for guidance. sleep on it, then do what you think is best.  If she has te information she can decide what she needs to do Mary Ann S.

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 10/27/2010 3:13 PM EDT
Posts: 124
First: 8/13/2008
Last: 5/11/2011
I'm so glad you told her.  I was on the opposite side of a similar relationship, and even though I 'knew' something didn't feel quite right, I couldn't figure it out.  A couple of my friends saw him, and told me the situation.  This way I was able to confront him, and get everything out in the open.  My friends did not tell me what to do, but stood by me and my decisions.  It was very comforting to know I had good friends that were watching out for me.

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 11/27/2010 2:18 PM EST
Posts: 482
First: 11/9/2009
Last: 12/17/2011
Hi Preston,
  I was wondering how your friend was doing? I hope the holidays are not to rough on your friend.

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 11/27/2010 2:32 PM EST
Posts: 528
First: 10/6/2010
Last: 6/11/2011
So what happened? Update............

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 11/27/2010 8:50 PM EST
Posts: 478
First: 8/20/2008
Last: 2/15/2011
I've been wondering the same thing, Julie.
Preston, please update us on how your friend is doing. With Thanksgiving and all, it's undoubtedly been very difficult for her. Prayers are with her!

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 12/9/2010 6:00 PM EST
Posts: 146
First: 4/16/2010
Last: 11/26/2011
I wanted to update all of you.My friend is getting a divorce from her cheating husband. She is doing rather well. She has a staff of people behind her, we all had thanksgiving together. All the single, divorced teachers . It was nice. I'am glad I did tell her the bad news. Life goes on .She will be just fine.Thank you for caring.

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 12/10/2010 6:32 AM EST
Posts: 7295
First: 6/23/2010
Last: 4/18/2014
Preston - you're a nice man.

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 12/10/2010 1:38 PM EST
Posts: 478
First: 8/20/2008
Last: 2/15/2011

I agree with Nancy......you're a nice man and a very good friend, Preston. I'm glad your friend is doing okay and that she has so many wonderful friends to stand by her at this time.

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 12/10/2010 2:53 PM EST
Posts: 959
First: 1/30/2010
Last: 1/22/2013
Myself, I would want to know.  Yes, I would be upset that someone told me.  But even if I was angry at that moment, it would not be at them.  Probably more at myself if I had missed the signs that something was going on.

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 12/10/2010 4:16 PM EST
Posts: 3406
First: 10/6/2010
Last: 4/15/2014
Glad you told her.  I would most certainly want to know if it were my husband that you saw.  Several reasons for this first and most importantly she needs to protect herself...if you get my drift.  Second she needs to make a very important decision, is this something she wants to work on or have they been having problems for a while.  This would give her important information to make a decision.
Sad thing to happen this time of year but it is hard any time.
Tough decisions always take a bit of discussion and prayer to come to a conclusion.  That an a bit of help from a whole lot of "friends" that happen to be strangers.

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 12/10/2010 4:34 PM EST
Posts: 4948
First: 6/4/2010
Last: 4/30/2013
 Preston,You did the right thing by telling your friend,as I told you in your original post that I had done the same thing and It back fired on me.That was over thirty years ago.The couple is still together which is a good thing I guess,but they don't speak to me.Honesty is the best policy.

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 12/10/2010 4:41 PM EST
Posts: 432
First: 2/2/2009
Last: 9/7/2012
I think you missed your oportunity when she said he was out of town.  I would have said "oh, I just saw him today at... " and leave it go at that.

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 12/11/2010 11:16 AM EST
Posts: 1333
First: 8/8/2008
Last: 4/16/2014
the poor lady .and you seeing him what a mess
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