WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?
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The Water Cooler
WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?
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OH BOY DO I HAVE A PROBLEM. I WENT OUT TO LUNCH YESTERDAY LEAVING THE SCHOOL.DURING MY TIME PICKING UP MY LUNCH AND SEVERAL  TEACHERS LUNCHES I SAW SOMETHING. I WISH I DID NOT .I HAPPEN TO
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Forums » Baking Forums » The Water Cooler » WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

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WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 10/19/2010 11:16 AM EDT
Posts: 146
First: 4/16/2010
Last: 11/26/2011

OH BOY DO I HAVE A PROBLEM. I WENT OUT TO LUNCH YESTERDAY LEAVING THE SCHOOL.DURING MY TIME PICKING UP MY LUNCH AND SEVERAL  TEACHERS LUNCHES I SAW SOMETHING. I WISH I DID NOT .I HAPPEN TO SEE ONE OF THE OTHER TEACHERS HUSBAND WITH ANOTHER WOMAN..SURE AT FIRST I THAUGHT BUSINESS LUNCH? HAD TO BE A REASON FOR THIS.I SHOULD NOT ASSUME THE WRONG THING.HE TOUCHED HER SEVERAL TIMES, WHISPERED IN HER EAR.I WAS A BIT UNCOMFORTABLE..THERE HAD TO BE A REASON. PLEASE HAVE A REASON.
I FINALLY GOT MY ORDER WALKED OUTSIDE,THEY WERE IN A CAR MAKING OUT. I WANTED TO POUND ON THE WINDOW, SOMETHING. SHE IS SUCH A NICE WOMAN, PERSON.I WENT BACK TO THE SCHOOL.I STARTED TO WALK OVER TO MY FRIEND, THEN STOPPED.MAYBE I WAS WRONG? MAYBE? I COULD NOT HURT THIS PERSON..I'AM SO VERY TORN.WHAT SHOULD I DO?????? THIS IS EATING AT ME.
 LATER THAT DAY WE ARE IN A TEACHERS MEETING.WHEN IT FINISHED WE WERE GOING OUT TO DINNER.SHE WAS ASKED TO GO WITH US. MOST OF THE TIME SHE WOULD NOT, THIS TIME SHE SAID YES.SHE SAID HER HUSBAND WAS OUT OF TOWN FOR WORK FOR A WEEK...HOW COULD HE DO THIS? WHAT SHOULD I DO? IT IS KILLING ME.COULD I BE WRONG? MY GUT IS SAYING " NO I'AM NOT WRONG" HELP. I NEED A VOICE OF REASON....
IS THERE A RIGHT THING TO DO? EVEN DOING THE RIGHT THING SOMEONE WILL BE HURT.

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 10/19/2010 11:55 AM EDT
Posts: 482
First: 11/9/2009
Last: 12/17/2011
If it were me i would want to know.Not sure how i would tell someone else. I'am not sure they would want to hear it.They probably would be mad at you, not the cheating spouse.I can see why you are so torn. It is a sensative, touchy subject. If they were making out, you are right. your not wrong.They are wrong.Unless he was giving her cpr? Did not think so.Not sure what to do or even say.It is painful.

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 10/19/2010 2:38 PM EDT
Posts: 478
First: 8/20/2008
Last: 2/15/2011
I agree with Julie....it's a painful, touchy subject. You just have to follow your heart as to what you should do. Your situation is one I hope I never find myself in. Prayers are with all involved.

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 10/19/2010 5:55 PM EDT
Posts: 888
First: 10/15/2010
Last: 3/2/2014
In Response to WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?:
OH BOY DO I HAVE A PROBLEM. I WENT OUT TO LUNCH YESTERDAY LEAVING THE SCHOOL.DURING MY TIME PICKING UP MY LUNCH AND SEVERAL  TEACHERS LUNCHES I SAW SOMETHING. I WISH I DID NOT .I HAPPEN TO SEE ONE OF THE OTHER TEACHERS HUSBAND WITH ANOTHER WOMAN..SURE AT FIRST I THAUGHT BUSINESS LUNCH? HAD TO BE A REASON FOR THIS.I SHOULD NOT ASSUME THE WRONG THING.HE TOUCHED HER SEVERAL TIMES, WHISPERED IN HER EAR.I WAS A BIT UNCOMFORTABLE..THERE HAD TO BE A REASON. PLEASE HAVE A REASON. I FINALLY GOT MY ORDER WALKED OUTSIDE,THEY WERE IN A CAR MAKING OUT. I WANTED TO POUND ON THE WINDOW, SOMETHING. SHE IS SUCH A NICE WOMAN, PERSON.I WENT BACK TO THE SCHOOL.I STARTED TO WALK OVER TO MY FRIEND, THEN STOPPED.MAYBE I WAS WRONG? MAYBE? I COULD NOT HURT THIS PERSON..I'AM SO VERY TORN.WHAT SHOULD I DO?????? THIS IS EATING AT ME.  LATER THAT DAY WE ARE IN A TEACHERS MEETING.WHEN IT FINISHED WE WERE GOING OUT TO DINNER.SHE WAS ASKED TO GO WITH US. MOST OF THE TIME SHE WOULD NOT, THIS TIME SHE SAID YES.SHE SAID HER HUSBAND WAS OUT OF TOWN FOR WORK FOR A WEEK...HOW COULD HE DO THIS? WHAT SHOULD I DO? IT IS KILLING ME.COULD I BE WRONG? MY GUT IS SAYING " NO I'AM NOT WRONG" HELP. I NEED A VOICE OF REASON.... IS THERE A RIGHT THING TO DO? EVEN DOING THE RIGHT THING SOMEONE WILL BE HURT.
Posted by preston c



I think you should tell your friend about her husband.  It won't be easy but it needs to come out in the open.  If she thinks he is away and actually, he isn't, she needs to know.  How to tell her is the hard part. 

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 10/19/2010 6:29 PM EDT
Posts: 416
First: 8/7/2008
Last: 1/17/2012
Yes  I agree, but like all said who to tell her will not be easy. Listen to your heart, you will find the correct words to say to her. Good luck

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 10/19/2010 6:52 PM EDT
Posts: 4948
First: 6/4/2010
Last: 4/30/2013

I was in your position about thirty years ago.It involved of friend of my brothers,his wife was cheating on him.I told him what I had seen.Some how I think he had already known and it caused hard feelings between us.Some times things are better left alone.They are still together thirty years later.

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 10/19/2010 10:17 PM EDT
Posts: 1400
First: 8/9/2008
Last: 6/2/2013
It is a very touchy situation.  I agree with gale that sometimes things are better left alone.  Most times they are aware of the situation and don't want anyone to tell them.  When no one tells them and they already know; they feel that no one else knows what is going on.  However, it is a decision you, yourself, will have to make.  All of those involved, including you, are in my prayers.

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 10/20/2010 2:43 PM EDT
Posts: 482
First: 11/9/2009
Last: 12/17/2011

PRESTON C.
      YOU TALK TO HER YET? I'VE BEEN THINKING IT COULD GO EITHER WAY.I DON'T KNOW..WHAT A PLACE TO BE IN? FOR BOTH OF YOU... GOOD LUCK. WHAT EVER YOU DO I HOPE IT IS THE RIGHT THING.. STILL NOT SURE WHAT THE RIGHT THING IS

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 10/20/2010 4:20 PM EDT
Posts: 3930
First: 9/5/2010
Last: 4/20/2014
I thought  this was a food site!!!

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 10/20/2010 4:37 PM EDT
Posts: 482
First: 11/9/2009
Last: 12/17/2011
i think the water is anything in reason.seems like the dude needs help.

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 10/20/2010 5:31 PM EDT
Posts: 1823
First: 9/9/2008
Last: 4/20/2014
Preston, I know you're torn about what to tell your friend.  In my opinion,  you're better off not saying anything to her.  I'm sure she will find out on her own and then you can be there for her.  If you tell her it may cause all sorts of problems between you two and you may lose her friendship.

Who knows, maybe it was just somebody who looks like her husband.  They do say we all have a twin somewhere in the world.  I have seen a picture of somebody who looked just like me and I have never met her.  She apparently even lived in the same neighborhood as I when I was younger!

God bless you in whatever you decide to do.

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 10/20/2010 6:38 PM EDT
Posts: 90
First: 5/3/2010
Last: 5/31/2011
Preston my man. The hardest thing you could do is also the right thing to do.you need to tellyour friend.I would tell her.i would want to know. you are sure it is him?Make sure some how it is him. a real friend would do this. If she knows she should not have to live like this man...Good luck..It maybe a tough choice but I do not think some would should be blind to this.

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 10/20/2010 6:40 PM EDT
Posts: 90
First: 5/3/2010
Last: 5/31/2011
Maxine,
 The water cooler is any toopic in reason. Julie B. you are right the dude does need some help, advice.I know he knows in his heart what needs to be done.

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 10/20/2010 7:21 PM EDT
Posts: 73
First: 4/4/2010
Last: 11/26/2011
Why is it the right thing to do feels so wrong?So many people are saying not to tell her,just let it go.Six years ago i was in a relationship. I had no idea she was cheating on me. I thaught everything was cool.Everyone knew but me.I finally found out, my grandma told me.At first I was shocked.What upset me the most was my best- friends knew. They did not want to tell me.They thaught I would be mad.They knew and never told me, that killed me.I 'am in a geat relationship.I'am grateful to grandma.I trust her,She maybe mad/ upset/ ticked but she will get over it.
  I do agree with some of the others man, make sure it is him. 100% sure before you talked to the lady.Good luck..It is a tough spot to be in Preston

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 10/23/2010 2:34 PM EDT
Posts: 482
First: 11/9/2009
Last: 12/17/2011
I GUESS NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS.

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 10/23/2010 3:27 PM EDT
Posts: 478
First: 8/20/2008
Last: 2/15/2011
In Response to Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?:
Maxine,  The water cooler is any toopic in reason. Julie B. you are right the dude does need some help, advice.I know he knows in his heart what needs to be done.
Posted by HUNTER W


I agree....poor Preston seems to be in a turmoil and I can't say as I blame him. It's a difficult situation to be in. Praying for you, Preston, and for the concerned parties as well.

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 10/26/2010 7:04 PM EDT
Posts: 146
First: 4/16/2010
Last: 11/26/2011

I talk to my priest.He said the right thing to do is to tell my friend.I"am 100% sure it was her husband.He was seen by another teacher as well.We both went to see her,we talked to our friend. She just sat there,She was tearing up.We both felt so bad.She finally thanked us, she was knodding her head the entire time.I think she may have know. I feared she would be angry.She was not angry.She felt bad we were in so much pain.That we seemed tormented for days.She was so glad we told her, so am I.I'am sure not everyone act the way she did.Some people love to live in the dark. Not able to take the truth, blaming the one that give you the news.She talked to her husband.They are going to seperate for now.She has been very unhappy.We will all be there for our friend.I hope never have to go through this problem.It was eating away at me.I had to do the right thing , it did not feel as if it was the right thing.It is<it really is the right thing.Thanks for letting me vent and helping me out.my hands were shaking as I and another teacher told our friend.Wow...wow.

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 10/26/2010 7:30 PM EDT
Posts: 482
First: 11/9/2009
Last: 12/17/2011
oh my gosh. you did talk to friend i still believe you did the right thing. it must have been so hard on all of you.it is nice you had someone with you.wow is so right.you have guts, friendship means alot to you.good for you. it is not a thing i would like to do , i would do the same thing as you. the truth is what is important.....you ok preston?.

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 10/26/2010 9:11 PM EDT
Posts: 1
First: 10/26/2010
Last: 10/26/2010
I think you should tell her.  Wouldn't you want to know?  I would approach the subject gently.  Good Lucka nd keep us updated.

Re: WHAT SHOULD I DO? TELL HER? NOT TELL HER?

posted at 10/27/2010 9:55 AM EDT
Posts: 482
First: 11/9/2009
Last: 12/17/2011
Rachel, he did tell her,a couple of entries before yours.I would want to now.It is a touchy subject.You never know how it will end.
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